New Years Eve

This New Years is a lot, lot different that last year. I suppose everyone's is though. I'm at the lake house again, but I'm on the 5th day of my detox diet and won't be drinking tonight. Unlike last year where I ended up thanking guests for coming from my position by the toilet seat. Talk about a classy hostess. Not! Lol, no regrets, but I think I'm on a general trend away from that sort of thing. It's weird how the desire just leaves. I just feel like whenever I party its the same old thing, you get all hyped up (and you have no idea why), you get super dressed up (it's fun but i hate waking up in old makeup!), you stay out until you are so tired you are miserable and all the while you were waiting for "it" to happen. I never quite know what "it" is. Flirting with someone, having an awesome conversation or revaluation about life...I don't know, but its usually quite disappointing when I'm tired and drunk and realizing that "it" will not be happening tonight.

So, I'm at the lake house preparing to do some fireworks and visit with my family. It's been a pretty emotional week. I saw my grandmother yesterday. It was really awful. I know that she never wanted to be in that kind of condition, she would rather just die, I remember her mentioning it several times.

Well....

I'm going to go watch the storm come in!

Encouraging words

Those who know do not talk
Those who talk do not know

Stop talking,
meditate in silence,
blunt your sharpness,
release your worries,
harmonize your inner light,
and become one with the dust.
Doing this is called the dark and mysterious identity.

Those who have achieved the mysterious identity cannot be approached, and they cannot be alienated.
They cannot be benefited nor harmed.
They cannot be made noble nor to suffer disgrace.
This makes them the most noble of all under the heavens. - Lao Tzu, "Tao Te Ching".

Not much to tell...

It's true, I've mostly just been longing around. Anything productive I've gotten done is just applying for jobs and car hunting. I've applied for like 8 jobs, and looked at so many car ads! The car thing is really frustrating because I don't want high miles, but I need something fairly inexpensive..you just can't have both! So, I'm probably going to ere on the side of getting something a little more expensive than I planned on, I do not want a car that is constantly breaking down on me...an unreliable car costs more than just money, it's peace of mind. And that's definitely worth something to me.

It feel good to be eating better! I already feel more positive about how I look and I think I feel less sleeping,achy, and bloated after I eat. I've been waking up with a cup of hot lemon water (no more caffeinated drinks for me!), a pro-biotic, then for breakfast some fruit and Ezekiel bread with almond butter. The rest of the day I eat things that have no sugar, wheat, trans fat, hydrogenated fat, and high fructose corn syrup. Probably a few more things I forgot. It's been kind of hard, but I like it so far! Next week I won't be able to eat any dairy either, along with some other stuff and I'll start on the serious detox with all the broth and smoothies. This is just prep week. :)

Oh, I also have to take a bath every night next week with two cups of Epsom salt, one cup of baking soda and lavender oil.

I'm so excited about getting healthy! :D

Extreme eating challenge...

Starting today I am not eating any sugar, high fructose corn syrup, wheat, processed foods, caffeine or alcohol. It's already been kinda hard, especially the sugar and wheat. I'm just so used to eating bread and crackers and frozen dinners...but I'm preparing for the "UltraSimple Diet" which I'll start next Sunday.

It's seven days of lots of veggie broth, berry smoothies, nuts, and other super healthy foods. I'm still reading through the book, my mom is doing it with me so she's doing more of the organizing than I am. I'm really excited about it, it sounds like I'm really going to get rid of a lot of toxic stuff in my body.

:)

Home for the Holidays

I'm home at last!!! After all the struggle and work, these last few weeks are over and I'm moving on into the exciting future! Mexico, new apartment, new jobs, people and places! I realize that I'm a little worried about more than I thought I would be. What if I don't make enough money? What if I don't have any friends and I'm lonely? But those things definitely are not outweighing how positive I feel overall. Not even close.

Yesterday, Hannah and I had a packing marathon. For some reason I waited til the last day to pack my room, I really didn't think it would be a big deal. I will not do that again, thats for sure. It was so weird to see the room empty. Kind of sad. It just reminded me of how easily we are forgotten and erased. Living in co-ops has been a big part of my college experience, it kind of hit me that a phase of life is coming to a close.

Now, I'm home sweet home with my fam. It's awesome. :) I've gotten on a big job hunting kick too. It just seems like I need to before I move forward with other things. I mean, how can I start looking at cars when I know I need a second job?? That just sounds stressful, and I bet it will take a while for me to find another job so I'm going to start now.

Ok, cover letter time. Bleh.
<3
-n

H1N1

Day before my big presentation for my honors thesis...*shhhhhhhhBOOM*....swine flu.

I feel like a blob of bird poop at the moment, but I am marveling at how flexible and generous all of my supervisors have been about this thesis thing. They've basically told me not to worry about anything, just get well and then we'll set new deadlines and come up with an alternative for the presentation requirement. I've never experienced anything like that in academia. I guess it's just because they've gotten to know me and they just want me to get well, but it makes me wonder if every other professor that hasn't loosened requirements for sickness just doesn't believe their students when they say they are sick...

So, I've been sleeping, taking tylenol, sleeping, and working a little bit on my final paper for surveillance and social control. I'm writing it on the co-op, hehe, its actually pretty fun. It has to be 1200 words and I'm at 900, so I think I'm doing pretty good. :)

I can't believe this semester is practically over and I'll be moving on with my other plans. I almost had to make myself believe that there wasn't going to be a "after this semester" to get through these last few weeks. But there is!! And its here!!

Ana is graduating this weekend, I'm so happy for her! I can't wait to go home and celebrate, I hope my nose loses all this congestion cause I really want to enjoy her crab leg feast. :D

Ok, I'm either going to keep working on that paper or take a nap... I'm thinking nap...

-n