Hmmm...post party thoughts...

Last night was so much fun, I definitely enjoyed myself. I think I figured out a good balance between being sociable and retreating to my room when things got overwhelming. I danced to some groovy beats downstairs then snuck off when I needed to recharge. I had a lot of odd emotions going on. I want to just appreciate people and be excited for them that they are doing well in some area or another, but man I get so jealous! I don't think I really like to think of myself as being a jealous person, but sometimes I really am. I guess I just don't want to face my insecurities, I want to keep them all cozy in my self denial cocoon even though they make me miserable!

I know I won't really be able to love until I love myself, but there's so many parts of me that I just don't want love! I'm going to look like such an idiot, I want to be sensible and reliable....but its so hard to live in a box when you can see everyone else running and playing and having a good time. I know I don't have to, but changing is so scary, I don't want to fail....

On another note, I had a lovely time at Quacks, the local Austin bakery, with Ana. :) I love being with her, she's so beautiful and smart! We're going to watch "He's just not that into you" tonight ehehe such a funny film

<3